I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
