I'm really into asian looking animals
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
