Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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