either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
