Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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