what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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