its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
