never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
