WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
