Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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