That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
