so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
