It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
