he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
