Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
