I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
