if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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