fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
