HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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