Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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