you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
