My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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