I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
