just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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