awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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