i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
