the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
True college students do jello shots in the library
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
