Non-Jews are for practice
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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