He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
