she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
