remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
