can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I wish you could order shots online.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Boobs are out for the taking
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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