I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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