Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
