I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
