And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
