That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
All the doctor said was why
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize