But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
