Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
