I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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