you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
