Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize