He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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