I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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