we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
