capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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