I got chris browned last night
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Randomize
