he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
