I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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