she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
