I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
