I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
