I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
