seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
