had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
