i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
