he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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