In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
