So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize
