guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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