i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's shark week go big or go home
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
