I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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