Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
