K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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