You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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