Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My hand turned me down
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
